I Don’t Use My Thumbs Much, Anyway…

Say goodbye to your kneecaps, pal…

****DoEs aNy1 KnoW of any Loan sharks in NY****** – w4m – 26 (Downtown)

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Reply to: pers-f2uwa-1240729246@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-26, 12:03PM EDT

I m looking for a loan shark in ny reasonable payback plan. Please email me with any info or number of any loan sharks the amount i need is 1,500.its an emergency. Thanks

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1240729246

Descrete

Oh no! She’ll only send pics if she’s interested! And she wants to wait till later! But I really want to make sure I’m attracted to her before I write to her. Whatever will I do? I hate dealing with these “descrete” women.

looking for descrete man – w4m – 18

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Reply to: pers-jjxm9-1238263145@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-24, 8:33PM EDT

I am skinny and i have brown hair with brown eyes..I love to swim and play sports with people. I love to just have fun… i like guys who are confident and know how treat their women with respect and pleasure! I will exchange pics later. I will send my picture by email,if I am interested in you!

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1238263145

Take my HIV, please…

It’s really scary how many people out there do unsafe things like this. I mean, if this guy is posting for this, he has probably done something like this already, and probably has STDs of some kind. Anyone who responds will also probably have a number of STDs, because they too have probably done this type of thing before. Fantasy is one thing, fellas, but meeting a guy online and letting him infect you with HIV ain’t gonna get you any of my sympathy.

seed my ass – m4m

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Reply to: pers-6swcw-1233580148@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-22, 10:21AM EDT

not looking to chat. I want a big dick top,(the bigger the better) to cum fuck my tight black ass, dump a load deep inside me. Want a guy with a high sex drive who likes to pound a hot ass without any mercy. Needs to be atrractive and in shape. must have pic to meet and big dick. Age and race not an issues, just have a hard dick and be ready to fuck.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1233580148

Strictly Platonic

This was in the “Strictly Platonic” section today. Apparently he suffers from a limited vocabulary as well as bad grammar and punctuation. Also note how he thinks that women over 35 are “grandmas.”

French kissing 101, – m4w – 27 (dc)

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Reply to: pers-fyt6v-1232711320@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-21, 4:53PM EDT

seeking a friendly female that love kissing like i do,not loking for love or relationship just a female kissing buddy,thats iti am African American , open to women from all colors of the rainbow, as long as your a good kisser, and unde r the age if 35, no grandma;s

• Location: dc
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1232711320

Paradox

Solipsism is the philosophical idea that one’s own mind is all that exists. So by definition, isn’t she the only one who could answer her own ad? And if she didn’t, wouldn’t it blow her own mind? I’m almost tempted to write to her and tell her that it’s her writing to her. Yeah.

Solipsist Waiting for Transcendental Love Affair (South Philly)

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Reply to: pers-8rzsu-1229161314@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-19, 9:18AM EDT

It’d be nice if I didn’t have to reply to this myself.

• Location: South Philly
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1229161314

Maul Rat

You gotta love how these dumbasses write ads like this and then end it with “You snooze, you lose.” Yeah ladies, you don’t want to miss out on some desperate guy who has no idea how to please you pawing at your breasts like you’re a piece of meat. Hurry up and reply! You snooze, you lose.

****LOOKING TO SQUEEZE SOME NICE TITTIES***** – m4w – 36 (JEFF PARK)

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Reply to: pers-wh5wj-1229106814@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-19, 7:23AM CDT

I AM VERY GOOD LOOKING ,DOWN TO EARTH,WHITE MALE ,LOOKING FOR A NICE LOOKING BORED WOMAN THIS MORNING ,I CAN HOST ,YOU MUST BE SANE,DDF,AND VERY CLEAN,I WILL ONLY RESPOND TO PICS,YOU SNOOZE YOU LOOSE.

• Location: JEFF PARK
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1229106814

Holy Rape Fantasy, Batman!

This one just made us chuckle. Seems harmless enough, but it’s funny how people can get into the intricate details of a fantasy. Superheroes in their “underwears.”

SUPERHERO ROLEPLAY – 32 (Midtown)

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Reply to: pers-qsrtb-1221355746@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-14, 4:31PM EDT

Have a superhero roleplay fantasy!!!! I am a superhero and you a villian who destroys me. We are both in our briefs-you strip to your underwears as you dominate me. Am white male, 5′9″, 150lbs, lean (not a muscle hunk or anything), ddf/clean/hiv neg. Looking for same (safe sane healthy hiv neg) for some light wrestling…Want someone btwn 25-35 who is into the idea of wrestling me down and dominating me. We will wrestle in briefs, boxer briefs or thongs (i in my briefs and t-shirt). Bear hug me.Pin me. Pin me against a wall as I struggle to free myself. Choke me lightly against the wall or on ground as you hold me down. I will stay in my briefs and t-shirt, though you can grab me (my balls, chest) under my underwears. Then we cum in our undies by rubbing etc. Must be cute, decent shape.NO PIC IN FIRST EMAIL NO REPLY. I can host next weekened at hotel. –be seriouis and send pic to get my face pic…..

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1221355746

No Fakes!

Shouldn’t they have waitied till like 8:30pm to post this? Real vampires would still be sleeping at 6:38pm, since, you know, the sun is still up…

Looking for real life VAMPIRES (Midtown West)

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Reply to: gigs-vybpa-1218747173@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-12, 6:38PM EDT

We are looking for a real life Vampire family (Husband/wife/children) or (Brother/Sister) for a documentary TV series. Please only reply if you fit this discription or you know of others who do as well.

Thank you

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: TBD

PostingID: 1218747173

I’m All Man!!

“Yeah, I’m totally straight. I mean, I want to have sex with a guy, but I’m totally not gay! I’m an ex-football player! I’m all man! And to prove it, I used to teabag guys in the locker room, slap them on the ass after a good game, and assert my straight manliness by hazing nerds…you know, making them get undressed, letting me stick things in their asses, making them touch my junk. I’m 100% straight!!”

straight guy looking for older dude to fuck – m4m – 21 (downtown)

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Reply to: pers-qrzma-1214249043@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-10, 2:19AM EDT

Hi,
I am 21, 225lbs former football player with a tight ass but a little heavy…I have very nice legs thou…i am white and 6′ with dark hair and eyes…what I want is an old rich guy with an impressive place to treat me like a king….suck my cock…possibly lick my ass…kiss me touch me anywhere but my face…I then want to bend u over with a condom and fuck u…i do not like kissing at all…i am straight but I want to use ur ass or mouth to cum…dont expect the sort of affection of someone who is into guys…i can go slow if u want and i am patiant but like i said i just want to use ur ass to bust my cock off…thank you…if interested please e-mail…or tell a friend….btw definitely a plus if u have a wife or gf that would join or watch or if u have straight porn

• Location: downtown
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1214249043

Take My Wife, Please! And Give Her HIV.

It’s scary that even with all the diseases going around, people still play so dangerously. Is it really worth your life, or your wife’s life, to explore something a little kinky?

Looking to Explore a Cream Pie – mw4m – 38 (North of Boston)

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Reply to: pers-rtn4q-1214361576@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-06-10, 7:58AM EDT

Hey attractive white married couple looking to explore doing a creampie with another male. Would love to chat with you if you have ever done this before. Looking to meetsomeone that is safe, can perform with another guy present/joing so we can make this a regular thing. She is 5′0 105 brown/ brown 34 b shaved. I am 5′8 br/bl cut 8”. Please be SERIOUS for we are and send a pic/number to reach you at. Feel free to include details in your reply with how you had an experience with this as well. We dont have access to emails all day.

• Location: North of Boston
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1214361576